Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Friday, July 30, 2010

Give me a sign

You want a sign. You grieve the fact you're disoriented. You cry out for direction. You want an obvious clear neon-lit sign.

And then when it comes you're not sure what it means.
It's green, it's arrow-shaped, it clearly points along a single pathway. The pathway is flagged with bright torches which light up in sequence like some runway signalling a plane to land. The sign says GO THIS WAY and has not only your name on it, but your middle and last names, your date of birth and the names your parents were considering giving you, every nickname anyone who's loved you has ever given you and even the nicknames that nobody called you but you gave yourself.
Yet still you cry, "What does this mean?!"

You don't want a sign. You want a tunnel. You want to be pressed in on all sides with only one possible escape. You want the path forward to be the only path. You don't want to have to choose. You want all choices to be made for you and to follow on in sweet ignorant enthusiastic bliss.

So I’ll tell you this one thing: Choice sucks. But it sucks more not to have it. To choose is to be responsible, to be an adult, to take control of your life and say I and I alone shall be accountable for my success and my failure, for my fortune and my mistakes; I have nobody to blame but myself from henceforth and I shall be my own strength. I shall endeavour to choose with logic, with heart, with generosity and with discipline. And if ever I cannot choose between two options, only the trusted few shall be my guide.

I’m cast adrift in a roiling sea but I am the captain of my destiny.

I tell you this: you do only have one choice: you must choose.

Find your flat place

For Kristen


Find your flat place. Everyone needs somewhere where the ground is flat beneath you. And it's not always home. For some people home is the least flat place you can be.


A flat place is somewhere where there are no slopes, no hills, no twists or turns. Somewhere where you can be stable and grounded and don't have to worry. You won't slide away, or have to climb uphill. The ground doesn't shift beneath your feet and make you stumble. 

Find somewhere where you can find your balance and catch your breath. Then, once you feel yourself again, move on and take on the world around you.


Find a flat place, and return there at need.